I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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