Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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