chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
