But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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