but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
