God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
