why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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