A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
