Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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