so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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