Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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