Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
