I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
