Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
