If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
