Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
