is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
