because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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