how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
