Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
