Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
