Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
