Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
