I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
