party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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