More tranny stories later!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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