like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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