why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
