she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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