I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
