she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
