He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
