The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
