Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
