Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
