My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
