doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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