I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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