there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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