once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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