Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
