the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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