i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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