why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Let's paint friendship bongs
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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