Christians are straight up FREAKS
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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