i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize