if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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