That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
