you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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