I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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