his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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