it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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