fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
