Don't make out with my wife yet
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
