why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
