People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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